“It’s tragic. And nobody believes me. Just because it’s insane.”
Bames and KevinToledo are here! Bames got Chipwrecked on gay weed in the dark. Living with moms makes you trans. Mighty No. 9 fans are made of fat and pimples. Every video game panel needs at least one cripple. Bideo gamez. Tiptoes is a great movie about The Dink getting wasted. 2D girls are way more kawaii than 3D girls. The curtains were blue. People playing games real fast. Anime makes Kyle cry. Songs also make Kyle cry. Woodchippers make Bames cry. Fruit jokes also make Bames cry. Scary stories. What anime should Kyle watch next? Flenis taints everything with his boy joy.
“This is a Boys Love podcast.”
Em’s house is full of cowboys. Anime 4 lyfe. All women are dead. Jonah Hill is a faggot.
“No wonder you don’t have any friends!”
Bames is here, and so is Patrick from Nobody Likes Onions. I’m not doing show notes for this one. Deal with it.
“Haven’t banged a Socrates yet. There was one time I banged a soccer team ’cause it sounded close.”
Teen Sarah of having a Crab Dad, and Kelley Hightower of Mating Habits of the Modern Geek are here! On a Friday night even! A special appearance by celebrity guest Crab Dad! Greg Rucka is real mad about your mean shirts, and Sarah quietly disappears at some point. Kelley approves of Sean Ryan marrying Krang, and Kyle and Kelley both bang sports teams. Don’t teach men not to mind women ruining the internet, teach Women not to ruin the internet. Dating is gross and you’re all doing it wrong. Kid-having is also gross. Sex and coffee are gross too. Most things are gross, really. Dating tips: is showering lying to people? Should girls ask dudes out? Krafty Matt and Sean Ryan are the wrongest, and Em washes her mom. BloodBlader calls in to defend his novel Slippers Gaiden. Kyle is really into dudes turning into girls now, and OH SHIT DOG ATTACK! BloodBlader gets his identity stolen.
“What, is this ’cause I ain’t got no dick? I’m just playin’ with you. But I ain’t got no dick though.”
Kyle and Bames kick things off with some blood magic. Twitter totally gives bitches PTSD for real, and censorship is the coolest. Quit stealing my culture, you appropriator! Bames tries really hard to talk about cartoons, but Kyle does not make it easy. Bames is all about the Rule of Cool, and niggas be cuttin they dicks off! Webms are the wave of the future, and Anita Sarkeesian won the video game industry. Competetive gaming is lame. Moody calls in to show off his gender-bending talents, and shit gets weird. BloodBlader calls in to talk about how he’s writing a less sexy Sliders, and Moody gets lost in an urban jungle. We finally achieve podcast perfection and the show is over forever.
“If you lay down on a burrito for long enough it’ll crack open and Raphael Trujillo will come out.”
Kyle and Bames talk Sonic and autism. Blue is the fastest color. Em calls in to talk about her vagina again. Em wants to smooch every serial killer, and Bames wants to smooch every rapper. Britton calls in, and Em gets bored and leaves to get new legs. Bames gets butt-punched, and the Better Bames Initiative is born.
“I’m talkin’ about your sweet sweet faith.”
Jcat is here and he’s Lord of the Ringsing! Jcat hates other boys and worships Drop Dead Fred. Kyle hangs up on Jcat for being boring, and Zex calls in to talk cryptids. Tech dorks love the Occulus Rift, but Facebook not so much. Suey Park is retarded, better cancel TV! Let’s enact the labor to kill all the white men! MY LIVED EXPERIENCE! Hymen things start happening, and Kyle still wants his dad to S his D. The new TMNT movie is gonna be soooooo gooooood!
“Do you ever find yourself grabbing a dog by two of its legs and pulling until it comes apart, and then wondering why people are upset?”
Bames is back and he’s starting a Pod War! Mindy calls in to talk trucking, MMOs, and Angelmen. Flenis calls in too I guess. Mindy diagnoses Kyle’s sociopathy, and everyone takes a berg test. Kyle and Mindy are dating now. Steam game of the week! An autistic boy melts our hearts with his song. Kyle can relate. Jay “Fucking” Pavlina shat the Kickstarter bed. A molested boy calls in, and a Steam Punk sings about giraffes or something. A different autistic boy makes a friend, despite being an obvious piece of shit that society rightfully hates. Bames wants to buy a game about making a bear eat berries. Bames impressions. Hashtag Cancel Colbert.
“Terrorists don’t like stuff?”
Krafty Matt is here, and Lukster calls in with a list of apologies. Kyle has driven away many a listener, and the boys have a chat about familial relationships. Pedofiles are defended, and Kyle thinks he’s a star. The conversation inevitably turns to jerking dicks. Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes is a garbage game for trash people. Girls hate being called names so much they refuse to design buildings or make laws. Groups r dum.