As an agnostic, I don’t go to funerals for the person who died, I go to support the family. My mom died when I was 15, so that might have made me more sympathetic in these situations, even though I don’t believe in god.

Please keep up the good work and keep me laughing with what happens and has happened in your lives,

Cheers Kyle and Orion

Kevin.s (U.K)

3 more annoying halloween “treats” i’ve encountered that were not touched on in this episode
1.) Halloween themed pencils
2.) Sugar Daddy’s (Much like a Mary Jane on a Stick)
3.) Small bags of Microwave popcorn

Also watch Lewis Black’s rant about candy corn from his stand up special “The End” it’s quite hilarious

And if he kills the goose, well at least it will be a good story.

Seriously…? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? That lady is crazay. I just… I think I just lost a million IQ points by listening to her talk. I can’t even form coherent thoughts about this. I just… by god, she is insane. =[

Their secret agenda is to promote meat-eating!

PS–Kyle’s bed is littered with CAT SKULLS.

but anyway:
awesome taylor swift cover!
fuck kanye west!
go obama!
fuck dumb google bitch!
love ducks!
fuck geese!
Kansas is fucked up!
Marlykins (Maria) is awesome!

I think that pretty much covers it.

Ducks are awesome. They have cute duck babies, they stay in the water, they chill with each other, they stay out of our way.

Geese are dicks. They go all over the course and poop on everything. Tee boxes, fairways, greens, all a toilet to them. And their geese babies are ugly.

Of course, I’m bias, as ducks have always been my favorite animal. The most awkward moment in my life was, when I was at dinner before prom with my date, she ordered duck. I could never look at her the same.

——

Orion was right, the Super Bowl half-time show with Janet Jackson was organized and ran by MTV. After that, NFL released a letter of how much they now hate MTV now, and MTV can never do a half-time show for them.

——-

I know I’m an episode late with this, but a webcomic called Slackerz did a very nice piece on the anti-piracy thing and “MC DP”…

http://www.theslackerz.com/index.php?nav=Comic&Page=133

——

On a completely off-topic note, have you seen this news story? In some town in South Carolina, the mayor passed a law the FORBIDS COPS TO CHASE CRIMINALS ON FOOT.

The local reporter, told to cover this story, tries his best to ask some honest questions to said mayor. The mayor ignores all concerns with the law and ridicules the poor sap.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2009/09/22/dnt.sc.no.foot.chase.wspa

It’s pretty entertaining.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7td88XwQSY

Has everyone seen ijhatt t-shirts on the ijhatt Facebook site? Is everyone Facebook friends with ijhatt? Yes, yes!

also; i’ve listened to the last episode, it was good but i can’t remember it.

all i’ve listened to of this episode is the intro and it’s fucking awesome

All in favor say EYE. (keep in mind that it will be AWESOME)

And yes, I was serious about the donation thing. Donating for past episodes, well, that’ll be donated little by little (especially anytime soon since end of month = bills to pay), but I’m going to go right now and donate the five dollars for this episode!

And hey, just a suggestion — if you guys talk about articles you’ve read on the internets, could you possibly link to the articles when you post the episode? Some of the articles/stories you read are stuff I want to link up my friends with — of course I’d be like “I heard this on IJHATT!” — but it’s more convenient to link to the article than say “Hear go listen to this episode at x minutes x seconds” or trying to summarize the articles. Just a suggestion!

Also I definitely promote you guys like crazy. I’m pretty sure most of my friends know about you guys, I don’t know if they listen on a regular basis but I’ve made most of them listen to some bits and pieces. And I’ve linked to you guys in the sidebar of my LJ and I’ve told people GO LISTEN!

Also, here’s a few interesting things that may entertain you!

Banks offer free strip show to Irish students; Bank pulls promotion and says it didn’t know about ‘exotic dancers’: http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Banks-offer-free-strip-show-to-Irish-studentd-58499502.html

The Onion Keeps On Embarrassing Newspapers — “Two Bangladeshi newspapers, The Daily Manab Zamin and New Nation, have been forced to apologize to the public today after having regurgitated a news article taken from The Onion website which claimed the Moon landings were faked.” http://www.techcrunch.com/2009/09/04/the-onion-keeps-on-embarrassing-newspapers/

And finally, a youtube video:
“Fellayshe-O ® — Anxious? Depressed? Have You Considered Getting Head?” Finally, an inexpensive anti-depressant that works: Blowjobs. Better than, Ability, Prozac, Lexipro, Zoloft, or any similar drug on the market. This all natural prescription is fast acting to keep you how you want to be. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwRUyCICLvo

Anyway, I’m off to go watch a movie. Thanks for another great episode, Kyle and Orion!

Just kidding, of course; I’m a straight-up ijfann. You guys deserve every penny.

As someone who is paid to say words, there is NOTHING more infuriating than someone saying “Voice acting would be a sweet job! All you have to do is talk!” It’d be like me saying “Being a surgeon would be an awesome job! You make a lot of money and all you have to do is cut people open and cut some stuff and stitch them shut! GOLD MINE!” Voice acting is a blast, this is true. But to make a living doing ONLY voice acting, you’ve got to be incredibly learned/lucky/good at self-promotion.

So yeah, aside from the shit pay when you start out, voice acting is a blast. So I’ll say this: if it were that easy, everyone would do it. And the retard clients I deal with would finally realize that the facts that

A. Them voicing their own commercials yields pitiful results
and
B. Andrew Anthony gets six figures to say “EA Sports. It’s in the game.”

are very related.

So if you want to be a voice actor, great! Start taking acting lessons now, and expect to be hired on a retainer in about 8 years. After about 15, you should be making almost enough money to support yourself. If you want to do animation, decide whether you want to live in LA or Vancouver. If you want to do animation that isn’t anime, decide whether you want to live in LA or LA.

Also, we never include a picture with a voice acting resume for just that reason — we don’t want to be subconsciusly typecast based on our physical looks.

Kanye’s a dick, for sure. Have you seen this amazing photograph of him? The link’s through The Onion, but it’s a genuine RS cover.
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/kanye.article.jpg

Ah, well. “Touch The Sky” is still a great song.

“Give me that bread!” Love it. Seagulls as annoying gay guys = awesome.

I love that bird Orion’s talking about. I think I first saw that at his place; April and I had brought Planet Earth over. That bird can do better. His girl-bird better hope he doesn’t realize that.

It’s an almost-spiritual experience. Maybe I should ditch Christianity and help found IJHATTianity? With dual-gods, Kyle & Orion. Who wants to help me write the IJHATTianity bible??

Now, back to the episode: blacks!

As for this whole Russians thing, go USA and all but the Russians have my love and fondness. But they’re fun to make fun of. But who isn’t though?

P.S. John and Marlyman sitting in a tree, etc.

VIVA LA REVELUCION!!!

the closest thing I have to synesthesia is every now and then two completely insignifigant things would happen at the same time and my memory would forever link the two of them together, for example once when I was little I was watching an episode of “Hey Arnold” and my mom had made me tater tots for lunch. nothing memorable or noteable happened and yet for some reason whenever I would see that episode I would imediatley think of tater tots. and to this day when I eat tater tots I think of that episode.

It is a little known fact that he was actually Australian. His parents went to the country, but they were really aliens from Mars.

Jesus, get your literary history straight! You shame me, John K.

I love reading! Don’t blaspheme like that, you terrible person! And I’ve read some Nabokov so step off. You hurt me deep, John K. Deep. I’m going to go cry now!

I’ve heard of syneswhatever before (I’m on my phone and don’t have a dictionary handy to figure out how the hell it is spelled) but it intrigues me greatly. I watched a short five minute or so clip about it on current.com once, and I’ve read articles about it. Stuff like that interests me anyway; sue me for being weird. Anyway, yeah, what you described sounds pretty much like what it is. And from my understanding (which is limited so I could be wrong), people who have it don’t actually have any visual hallucinations, it is more of a mind-thought thing. But I could be wrong. I’m wrong a lot.

As for donations — I am going to go ahead and call about what I intend to donate. It should make you happy. At least I hope. It is just to show you guys how much I enjoy the show and want to support it.

Keep on rocking! And ps: HI JOHN K, MY INTERWEBS HERO!

its not hard to pick up the phone… i just dont call in cause i would be pulling something out of my ass sometimes… and those calls sound retarded.

as for last weeks show, i was going to call in about how you would hear someone’s voice and then see them and not associate the two together… i had the same when you two posted your photo. i thought kyle sounded like the stronger leader and that orion sounded like a chill person who would get distracted by shinny things.

The first time I remember reading about synesthesia (sp?) was in Vladimir Nabokov’s memoir SPEAK, MEMORY, which everyone should read, even Marlycake. Nabokov had the same deal, and from what I remember never lost it: he associated letters with specific colors. And April brought up Eddie Van Halen, and his famous brown sound; he apparently associates sounds with colors.

My vote is tell the company to skip the patch bay. Granted, I don’t know what that is. I can barely tie my shoes. April has to work the DVD remote; there are so many buttons!

My sis lives in Chicago, so I visit there every so often. The toll booths are not like the ones on the turnpike you take to get to Cedar Point, where there’s a starting booth where you get a ticket, then an ending booth where you pay for however long you were on it.

The booths in Chicago seem to be in random spots, and each one makes you pay a toll. Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been on the road, or how long you will be on it. Each toll booth charges a flat-rate, which as Orion pointed out, you would never know how much unless you drive on those roads regularly.

It’s pretty annoying.

He was doing a good job until we actually got to Boston.

“Alright, where do we go from here?”

“Go to the Boston Harbor” (we were staying at a place called the Boston Harbor Hotel)

“Ok, but where is that? What exit do I get off?”

“…Um, just head toward the harbor?”

“The ENTIRE east cost of Boston is the harbor! Where do the directions say the hotel is?”

“I just figured we’d get to Boston and follow signs to the harbor!”

“…guuuuuuuuh.”

We were lost in Boston for 3 hours. Boston is a horrible, horrible place for driving.

P.S. Hi, Google Taiwan. Nice of you to drop by.

But I think what’s confusing you is less inflation in general than one type of inflation, which is the demand-pull. That’s what happens when governments print too much money: the value of that money goes down. Why? I don’t know, but somebody smarter than me does, and someday we shall meet this person and know what he knows.

Using the example of having a gun pulled at my head. The thought of becoming mentally retarded, paralysed or having something irreversible like that happen where I was basically rendered useless with no way of acting with the outside world and no way of killing myself scares me more than the thought of actually dieing. I would rather die than live without my arms, because we as humans rely on them so much.

And can you control your dreams? You can learn to do it on google apparently it’s thebestever

Pretty much what I’m trying to say is FUCK YEAH FIRST COMMENT IT’S 2AM WOOOOOOOOOOOO

And on the voice acting thing, I never think they sound the same in interviews as they do on the shows, I think this is just me though…

WHAT

fuck you ijhatt you can’t do that!

I ALWAYS power-walk in slow-mo. And when I do that, that song always plays… Do you mean to tell me this doesn’t happen for EVERYone??

Good sirs of IJHATT:

I’m going through IJHATT-withdrawal!! Where have you goooone? A holiday is no excuse! =P

God, could you imagine the circumscissors shirt Kyle could design? I bet it’d be great. I’m picturing you wearing one while power-walking, slow-motion, as “Chariots Of Fire” plays.

У вас RSS в кривой кодировке!

Mysterious Marly!

You’re my internet hero, just so you know. I’m your NUMBER ONE FAN.

Sincerely,

Marlykins

Good stuff. I haven’t seen District 9 yet, but I want to. The blogosphere’s gone nuts for it, but your criticisms of the plot holes sound pretty spot-on to me.

Orion facts are great. I love the little musical (verbal?} cue you end them with. That should be a semi-regular segment. The Red Menace stuff made my day.

PS: I enjoyed the Orion Facts. A+ work on this episode, Kyle! You did well ‘flying solo.’

be back on the 6th… not that you care, nor should you.

Just wait for Avatar, it looks asif it’s been created on photoshop.
Though it does looks kinda good.
And the movie of the last 5 years is dark knight easy.

Haven’t listened to show yet, comments LATERRRr

Bottom line is, D9 has better aliens than Star Trek (a space movie), better gun fights than GI Joe (a silly over-the-top war movie), better robots than Transformers (a robot movie), and better effects than Terminator Salvation (a lets-see-how-may-effects-we-can-do-in-a-movie movie). It blended all that together in a movie that doesn’t pussy-foot around, delivers straight, quick, shocking MEANINGFUL violence, with richly-drawn realistic characters. It’s actually ABOUT STUFF. I basically can’t see how this ISN’T the movie of the summer, if not THE movie of the last 5 years.

But again, haven’t seen Bastards yet. I hear good things.

Also I’m not sure I buy these “orion facts” now being that I only met him once briefly I bought that his name was David and the whole aids cancer thing. but you started to lose me with the cock toes but I thought “Well that kind of shit happens.” but you realy lost me at the “Irish butt slam” now I can buy that he wrestled, I can even buy that he did it under the name “The Red Menace” but I can’t buy that he raped guys in the ass as a finishing move and didn’t get arrested. wich leads me to believe that some of the others might be bullshit too. by the way if they are bullshit then kyle you’re a damn good actor

Ok, when it came to the weapons, the real problem I saw with it was that, if all the alien weapons were programed to work only with certain DNA, why didn’t they make it so they could only work with the DNA of the OWNER of said weapon? Then they wouldn’t have to worry about some human somehow getting alien DNA in them and using their weapons. But it would also make sense in their human-free society back on Planet Whatever. No one would steal guns, because stolen guns wouldn’t work for them anyways. Y’know… I think WE should make guns like that. It’d probably be helpful and make things safer.

I also agree that it was stupid that a random alien race would make weapons with handles and triggers, just like our weapons. Little odd.

I could understand Mr. Human Protagonist being able to control the mech. I’m sure it was probably like, he sees what the mech sees, he’s completely synchronized with it and feels intuitive and natural movement. I’ve seen enough anime to know how robots work! But it seemed less believable that he needed about 15 seconds to figure out how to pilot the small aircraft. Lucky for him, the “control goo” was on the left side of the pilot chair. If it was on the right, his normal human hand wouldn’t have worked. But even with that stroke of luck, being immediately able to control a sophisticated alien aircraft via control goo with his new alien hand was a bit of a stretch.

But overall, I still think it was an awesome and smart movie. To have sweet, tense action, but make it secondary to a compelling social-political plot is quite impressive. It’s like, Transformers had a bunch of action scenes, but I don’t care if robots die, and I’m pretty much HOPING Shia LeBeouf dies. What’s the point of explosions and fighting if the audience doesn’t care how it’ll turn out? D9 does a great job making action scenes where you really hope things turn out a certain way, which really should be the entire point.

Bullshit I have a degree in Pterodactyleese, and it’s spoken in a totally different sentence structure, something these secretary women could not understand. And don’t say “oh they’re men” because there’s no such thing!

Ps; Pterodactyls don’t actually exist yet.

And fuck this pterodactyl ambassador. I don’t trust him as far as I could fly him

Also, I like this “walk for circumscissors” idea; but what if I’d rather, idk, play video games for circumscissors? Or sleep for circumscissors? Walking for a cause is an unoriginal idea; let’s start something new for this great cause!

That raises the question: when they arrive, will new pterodactyl-friendly technologies develop? Like pterodactyl-phones and keyboards and things?

1, The “P” in Pterodactyl is not capitalised
2, Pterodactyls can’t type.