I’m puttin’ honey on this bread. NOM NOM NOM NOM NO TIME TO PAY ATTENTION!
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I’m with Orion on the people-talking-about-the-weather thing. I’d rather hear the TV, because the TV doesn’t demand a response. Whereas if some oldster brings up the weather, I feel obligated to respond. And I say something like, “Yep, it sure is cold,” and I sound like a fraud to myself.
Wu Tang Clan members rap about killer bees, sometimes. As is to be expected.
No joke–my uncle has a mail-order bride. She’s Asian. Really nice lady, and definitely someone who’d normally be out of his league, looks-wise.
Orion–you brought everyone in your family a porno magazine? That’s incredible! Oh my God. I wouldn’t have the balls. I love, too, that Kyle made the delivery.
Presents are tough. The ideal present is personal; is something the person would love but a). doesn’t have and b). isn’t likely to be bought for them by someone else; isn’t so expensive that the other person will feel guilty; is appropriate for the level of friendship/relationship; etc. My parents have just given me money for the last few years, which is easiest.
Fucking Twilight. I used to wish that girls read, and now they do; this might all be my fault. A girl I work with invited me to see that movie with her. I had to decline.
“Your mama sews socks that smell.” Wow!
I like Twilight. As Kyle already knows, I have a sparkly vagina. But that’s off-topic. But anyway, I realise that Twilight was written for a target audience — teen girls, or really, pre-teen girls. And it was well-written, for the audience it was written for. However, I realise there are a shit load of flaws in the story, and it’s fairly sad that a lot of chicks take the story serious and think “This is how love should be” or “Edward Cullen is perfect!” because really, that’s not love or perfection. Edward is obsessive and jealous and all sorts of other stuff, and Bella is basically this vapid girl who really doesn’t think things through and starts to define herself through Edward. Love really should not be like that at all (I would know from personal experience) and it irks me that people actually define how relationships and partners should be through these books. I mean, they’re entertainment, and that’s it. And just to get into some technicalities, the story started off as ~one of SMeyer’s dreams~ and she just wrote it for herself, and then it turned into something she got published. So yes, this is one big MarySue-ish fanfic that just happened to get published and become popular. Also, yes the vampires do have some effect on manipulating humans’ emotions in the book, however Bella is so ~private~ in her own mind that the mental-stuff doesn’t affect her. So yeah, Edward isn’t making her feel the “love” she has for him — she’s feeling that on her own. I could get into more literary aspects of the story, and how very flawed it is, but I doubt anybody is interested.
I hate present-shopping for people. I tend to stick with gift cards to places I know the person likes, simply because it’s easier. And when people ask me what I want, I usually just tell them “gift cards or money” unless I know of something I REALLY REALLY want. It’s just more convenient that way, for me, since I rarely ever consistently want one specific thing; it’s nicer for me to have the money available and if I see something I want at any given time, I can buy it.
And in case anybody is wondering where all the bees have gone:
[img]http://www.bargainbinreview.com/images/pterodactyl_fncar.gif[/img]
Edward is so sxccc <3
Where do bees go in the winter? According to RoyW:
“Honeybees survive the winter by reducing their activity, remaining within the hive, and feeding off the honey and other food that they have stored. The body heat that they generate helps them to survive the cold, although not all will survive.
In other social bees (like Bumblebees), the workers and drones all die in the autumn, once it starts to get cold, and only the fertilized queens survive the winter. To protect themselves from the worst of the cold they find sheltered areas to hibernate – such as in mouse holes etc underground, in rotten tree stumps, in sheds and behind tree bark.
Solitary bees (like Masonary bees and Miner bees), which do not form colonies, usually survive the winter in an immature form. Eggs laid each summer do not produce new adults until the following spring – the cold weather is passed with the larvae safely sealed away from the cold.”
And here is a link that shows you the different kind of bees http://www.thebeehunter.com/types-of-bees.html
Also, honey attracts water. So when put on bread, it draws the moisture out of the bread and makes it hard.
So there is some useless trivia for the day.
OMG! I just looked at several mail order bride/ husband sites and here are a few of my favorite profile headlines (keep in mind that ALL of these men are UGLY AS FUCK (fat, hairy bodies, missing teeth, bug eyed, bald, &c)
*”My name is Daryl. I am 17, but will be turning 18 in September. I figure by the time we get to know each other I will be legal tender and we can marry. My parents are kicking me out after December and I’d like to meet a woman with a lot of money so we can have fun. I like women between 18-45, but would consider older if we don’t have to touch a lot.”
*”As a 23 year old balding man I’m in a hurry to find love.”
*”I prefer a woman that has insurance and a car would be great as I need to make the occassional trip to Mexico to pick up “souvenirs”. ”
*”Hi there ladies, pick me. I’m itchin’ to start a new life in an exciting place. I got bought by some lady in London, but she didn’t like me, so I’m back.”
*”I deal in reality…and the reality is that I’m ready for love. I can chop lots of wood and can even climb a greased pole. I keep in shape by chasing chickens around my back yard. I keep my self clean and take baths weekly.”
*”Ladies, I have a lot of love to give. I will be starting a new life shortly and want you to be part of it. I am very romantic and in very good condition,.. but I won’t be available for about 18 months, but I’m happy to write letters. I’m up for parole next month, so I’m hoping to be available sooner. ”
all i have to say is wow to this “success” story http://www.mailorderhusbands.net/ss/
I DID believe in the tooth fairy until i was like 10. Why so long? When i was 5, i lost a tooth and my sister decided to write a letter from the tooth fairy and put it under my pillow with the money as a little bonus. It didn’t even occur to me that it could possibly be fake. So 5 years later a kid in school told me that the tooth fairy wasn’t real. I got REALLY mad and told him that i had proof. I brought the letter the next day and the kid ripped it up and told me that i was stupid. The teacher took me aside while i was crying my eyes out and explained that the letter was not real and neither was the tooth fairy. I went home and asked my sister about it and she admitted to writing the letter and said that she didn’t think that i would have believed it for so long. So i got a broom and chased her around the house beating the shit out of her for making me look like an idiot.
Oh Twilight, how i once loved you until you became cult like. *sigh* I am a fan of the books but not really the movies.
The first movie was poorly made (bad video quality, very sporadic scenes).
The second was ridiculous, especially the cg wolves and the scene where Bella hits her forehead on a rock and starts gushing blood and Jacob dramatically takes his shirt off and touches it to her head only ONCE to clean it up which leads me to believe that the entire purpose was to see Taylor Lautner shirtless.
I don’t get the whole “omg Robert Pattinson is sooo hot” thing. To me he is ugly, every time he comes on the screen i want to manscape his eyebrows and he is so pale that his skin looks splotchy and discolored.
In the book werewolves wear like a thigh holster that they put their pants in when they are about to turn so they don’t ruin their clothes.
Die Hard- this comes from imdb: The US broadcast version changed the famous “Yippee-kay-aye, motherfucker!” line at the end (where Bruce Willis throws the lighter onto the trail of fuel to blow up the plane) to say “Yippee-kay-aye, Mr. Falcon!” In order for this “Mr. Falcon” line to make sense, the scene with the soldiers in the plane is also changed so that one of the soldiers calls one of the two main bad guys “Mr. Falcon.” [it's not clear if "Mr. Falcon" is supposed to be Col. Stuart (William Sadler) or Maj. Grant (John Amos)] Falcon was also the codename of the flight which Maj Grant was on. It’s mentioned earlier in the film.
WOW, this is a bit wordy…. so ttfn fuckers!
oh and another thing that bothers me about Twilight- in the book, the reason that vampires sparkle is because their skin is diamond hard… well just because their skin has the physical consistency of diamonds does NOT mean that it then must also mimic its physical appearance!! gahhh!!![hr]
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And in case anybody is wondering where all the bees have gone:
[img]http://www.bargainbinreview.com/images/pterodactyl_fncar.gif[/img]
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!!!!!!!WARNING ADULT CONTENT!!!!!
Speaking of pterodactyls, Wifey i just found our new favorite kind of porn!!!!!
http://lolpornonline.com/post/26261101/pterodactyl-porn
YES PTERODACTYL PORN!!
[quote='marlykins' pid='527' dateline='1260201550']
YES PTERODACTYL PORN!!
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IKR!! Its your 2 favorite things put together!! pterodactyls + porn= awesome!!
I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT!
I still think that Twilight is cool just for the premise of having a vampire baby that can potentially eat it’s way through it’s mother’s womb just because it wants to.
i dont ever sleep at night, its at least 4 to 5 am before i can get a quick nap, then i drag ass out of bed and go to work
lol another Twilight related post… oh and if you havent read the last book (spoiler alert) Bella gets pregnant with a 1/2 vamp mutant baby lolol who ever made this had to be high, i hope. http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/02/twilight-fans-perfectly-normal-healthy
Dear wifey,
Congratulations on thinking that MOH site was real. Get some sleep — you’ve gone crazy.
PS I AM TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW, DON’T FORGET TO CALL THE IJHATT VOICEMAIL WITH YOUR SURPRISE.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO,
YR WIFEY
Dear Wifey,
You suck. You ruin everything. I found that site on the interwebs so its real.
XOXO (many less xoxo’s than you sent me)
Your wifey
PS: I hope you lose real bad at guitar hero cause you suck.
On somewhat-on-subject of mail-order-brides…
My last job in MI before I moved to The CO was at the boat launch at Lake Lansing. I had nicknames for all the regulars. There was this one guy I called The Japanese Gray Fox. He was a past-middle-aged Japanese guy with the coolest car, coolest boat, and crazy-hottest young Japanese wife.
One time, with his boat pretty close to shore, the wife stands up on the bow, in a bikini, and just starts stretching… for some reason.
I was on shore with a couple park-goers. Obviously, we’re all staring, when one of them goes “His car has to be at least 80 grand, that boat maybe 50 grand… how much do one of THOSE cost?” and I’m like “I don’t know, but I hope I’m young enough to start saving up and get one before I’m 60.”
thank you for the reminder wifey, i just finished my voicemail…. i think i talked too fast though
I wonder if one can order a husband…
if u gots the monies go for it dude !!!! i love my wifey, i also love boones farm i chugged a bottle in 20 secs even though it is gross to taste so i chugged it so i couldnt taste it , beat that bitches!!!! then we played truth o rcrap the drinkking game, then we played eye spy the drinking gme, then we played ive never the drinking game, then we ran out of drinking games, and they didnt want to play ijhatt the drinking game theu said it was stupid so thy wouldnt do it, f them, then we played paper rock scissors the drinking game and i won, ayayayaya fr me!!!!!!! i also love cold pizza its yummyifiric just like bees are to pterodactyls
well it just became quite obvious that i was far more drunk last night than i thought
Who could possibly hate the IJHATT drinking game? Besides people who listen to Josh Groban, you know — maximum cunt-fags.
Hey, “You Raise Me Up” is like the most amazing song ever. I wish that I could take that MP3 file and insert it in my brain AND put it on permanent repeat. Wouldn’t life be so much better that way? How long do you think it would be until i killed myself?
P.S. Happy Birthday to Gary!!!!! GET DRUNK!!!